The Pulsating Heart Beat Beyond February

Valentine’s Day, that little red reminder hanging in the middle of February, draped in hearts, chocolate, and syrupy declarations of love. Yet, for all its talk of romance, I cannot help but wonder: What of those who do not fit neatly into the box of heart-shaped gifts and candle-lit dinners? The concept of love, so often reduced to intimate moments between two people, should not be tethered to a single idea of affection.

Love is vast, love is far-reaching, love is in the gestures you give when no one asks. And this, this should be what Valentine’s Day celebrates: not the singular act of lovers, but the quiet, understated expressions we offer one another every day. It should be a day for all kinds of love—between friends, between strangers, between the distant arms of humanity itself.

Why, then, do we still attach such weight to the concept of romantic love? Perhaps because we yearn for validation. We ache for the acknowledgment of affection, an approval that says, “You are worthy, you are seen, you are desired.” And so, we pick this day to shout it from the rooftops, convinced that only this particular kind of love matters. But I say to you: No one should need a day on the calendar to prove their love or to feel loved.

What if we shift our gaze? What if we, instead of buying into the grand display of grand gestures, begin to see the tender whispers between friends? The brief text, the knowing glance, the shared table wherein we do our homeworks? Love isn’t loud. It is soft, a quiet presence that lingers. I express my love, not through the typical lovey expression, we are taught to recognize—but in subtler ways. As somone that enjoys writing, my affection takes form in letters, pages filled with words that carry the weight of emotion. There is nothing physical in these exchanges, yet everything is felt, a deep resonance that lingers long after the paper is folded and put away.

And as a friend, I express my affection in the space I make for others. I listen, i absorb, offering the rare gift of being fully present. I do not need to touch; I do not need to hold. My mind, my heart, my empathy—these are my offerings. As a friend who also happens to be a therapist, I give my quiet counsel, the kind that slips between the cracks of everyday conversation. The kind that says, “I see you,” even when you cannot see yourself.

It is not the grandiose gestures that speak to me. It is the gentle rhythm of kindness that beats between the lines of our lives. The delicate thread of a conversation that meanders into shared silence. The delicate thread that ties us all together, whether we know it or not

So, on this day of “love,” I implore you: do not allow the frenzy of Valentine’s Day to dictate your worth or the depth of your relationships. For love is not bound by a date on the calendar. It is a continual, ever-shifting expression, carved into the ordinary moments we live. And if we dare to see it, to let it flow freely, we will find that we need not wait for February 14th to feel loved. We will discover that the everyday gestures of the heart are the truest forms of affection, waiting to be embraced.

Behind this perspective are these people:

: )